The 7 Best Ways to Help Your Kids in School

We had a mantra at our school, that the “parents are the students’ primary educators,” and that we as teachers were secondary. The truth of this was rarely more evident than when I would find myself sitting in my classroom, alone, having been stood up - yet again - by the parents of the one particular student whose parents I actually needed to meet with. The silver lining is that it gave me an extra 15 minutes to reflect on the realities of how the student had clearly developed his executive skills - which are, in a very real sense, heritable. “The acorn,” another school mantra went, “doesn’t fall far from the tree.”

The education I was attempting to provide, I realized, would be much more potent, impactful, and lasting - if I may belabor the metaphor - if I could find a way to address the problem at its roots. That’s when I began to coordinate a whole new effort to support parents, reaching out more often, and sharing my educational material with them as well. “This week in class, we are talking about using a digital planner, and setting alerts and reminders.” Subtext, feel free to use any of these tips and tricks to make your own life easier AND to model strong executive skills for your kid.

In my previous article, “Why Nobody Was Learning Anything In My Class,” I explained how I came to the realization that if I wanted my students to practice good executive functioning habits, I would have to incorporate them into my own life, become really expert at them, so that I would know firsthand their benefits, limitations, and be able to speak, teach, and troubleshoot about the practical realities of their implementation. It is just as true - in fact I’m sure it’s even more true - of parents.

I often hear parents say that they want to help their kids with school, but they don’t want to “do their homework for them.” Probably the best way to help your kids is simply to start enacting good EF habits yourself. And even better, invite your kids to actively participate in these practices regularly. Help them see good EF habits from the inside, rather than just observing you do them from the outside. Here are 7 ways you can take up the mantle of primary educator and make a huge and lasting difference in your child’s educational trajectory.

1. Plan the Week on Sunday Night

Practice: Sit down on Sunday evening and plan the upcoming week. Write down appointments, deadlines, and key tasks in a planner or digital calendar.

How to Involve Kids: Do it together. You sit down at the table with your planner, and they sit with theirs. Show them how you think through, day by day, noting important appointments, tasks, and events. Ask prompting questions like, “What’s coming up for you this week?” Show them how you prioritize tasks, set reminders, and prepare in advance.

Benefits: Kids learn that organization is a proactive, ongoing process - not a last-minute scramble. They learn how a mature adult thinks through, plans, problem solves, and more.

2. Use a Visible To-Do List (And Stick to It)

Practice: Keep a physical or digital to-do list that’s actually used (not just aspirational). Maybe you’re already doing this in some form or other. Do your kids know that you have one? Share it with them. Show them how you prioritize tasks and cross things off as you go. Ask them how they use theirs. Compare strategies, tips, and tricks. Show them ‘backwards planning’ - how you start with a big due date, and plan backwards from it, thinking through what progress needs to be made each day in order to achieve your goals.

How to Involve Kids: If they don’t have one yet, buy one, and help them get started. If they do, check in on it together at the end of the day. Make it a daily routine. They say it takes 3-4 weeks to form a new habit, so stick with it! Do a power-month; make it a family goal for next month. If you make it through the month, chances are, you’ll stick with it.

Benefits: Kids see how breaking big tasks into steps makes them manageable, and they get into the habit of tracking their own responsibilities. Many adults find that this actually helps them increase their productivity dramatically.

3. Set Up a Dedicated “Work” Zone

Practice: Establish a clear, organized workspace for yourself - no clutter, good lighting, necessary materials within easy reach. Many adults (especially the work-from-homers) have a highly sophisticated work space optimized for incredible productivity. Kids also benefit hugely from having a space that’s free of distractions, and set up specifically to maximize productivity (I wrote a whole blog with a shopping list and everything, if you’re interested in exploring this further). Kids are much more likely to diligently do their schoolwork if they have a dedicated space which is beautiful and where they actually enjoy spending time.

How to Involve Kids: Set up a homework/study space for them that mirrors yours. Help them think through how their space could be customized to their particular needs. What equipment or supplies do they need? Model how an organized environment reduces distractions.

Benefits: Kids learn that environment affects focus and productivity, and they internalize the idea that preparing your space = preparing your mind.

4. Explain How You Set Your Priorities

Practice: This one couples well with #2 on using a Planner. Follow the "MIT Rule" (Most Important Task First)" -  identify the one task that will make the biggest impact and do it first. Use a simple 3-question test to decide:

• Urgency – Does this have a deadline or consequence if I delay?

• Importance – Will this significantly improve my day, work, or stress level?

• Effort vs. Reward – Will doing this make other tasks easier or unnecessary?

How to Involve Kids: Share your MIT with your kid. Say: “My MIT right now is ___. What’s yours?” Help them decide by walking through the three questions together. Encourage them to tackle their MIT before distractions set in.

Benefits: Kids learn that prioritization isn’t just about deadlines - it’s about making intentional choices to stay ahead, reduce stress, and focus on what truly moves the needle. Over time, they develop the habit of thinking critically about their tasks instead of just reacting to them.

5. Follow a “One-Minute Rule”

Practice: If a task takes less than a minute (hanging up a coat, responding to an email, putting a dish in the sink), do it immediately instead of postponing. A lot of the things we do that lead to messy buildups are simply a matter of putting something where it goes instead of near where it goes. So often, we put dishes on the counter instead of the dishwasher, which is a foot away. We leave our shoes on the floor under our foot rack, instead of just putting them into the foot rack, or clothes on the floor, right next to the hamper. It’s the same thing as when kids jam their Science homework into the front of their binder instead of (less than an inch away) the Science section of their binders. There are so many opportunities at home to help kids just get into the habit of putting something where it goes in the first place. You can avoid lots of cleaning and organizing if things are already clean and organized.

How to Involve Kids: Make it a game - set a timer and see how many quick tasks they can finish in a minute.

Benefits: Reduces clutter (both physical and mental) and teaches kids that small actions (and good habits) prevent bigger problems later.

6. Use a Timer for Focused Work

Practice: Set a 25-minute timer for focused work (good old-fashioned Pomodoro Technique). Work without distractions, then take a 5-minute break, and repeat. I like these old fashioned analog timers (I recommend against using phones basically in all situations since they’re basically just distraction machines). I work with kids with ADHD for a living and let me just tell you - focus is something everyone can improve. But it takes repeated practice. In the age of the (what are we on, 19th?) technological revolution, with our consciousnesses being constantly torn and fractured into ever-smaller pieces by endless reels of byte-sized indigestibles coming through our media (social and otherwise), I think this practice becomes increasingly critical for all of us (not just the kids - but especially them). Some of them won’t be able to handle 25 minutes - maybe some of us adults can’t either. Start with whatever you can do, and then increase it by a few minutes a day. The rule is that you actually have to stay focused on the same thing for the full 25 minutes, whether it’s reading a book or working on an assignment. Also, you have to do at least 2 sets in a row. It sounds like something you’d do at the gym - and it is. The brain works much like a muscle. Without regularly practicing focus, our focus becomes flabby, weak, and tires easily.

How to Involve Kids: Do a focus session together - “Let’s both work for 25 minutes and then take a break.”

Benefits: Kids develop time awareness, focus, and the ability to work in structured bursts instead of mindlessly slogging. I also speculate that the longer-term effects of doing this from a young age are probably incalculably positive.

7. End the Day with a Genuine, Reciprocal Check-In

Practice: Do a daily reflection. This last habit can be a tricky one, and hard to initiate if it’s not already present in some form or other. But if done well, can also be the most valuable. Many parents, especially those who don’t already routinely have deep, reflective conversations with their kids, might struggle to introduce something like this in a way that feels natural. You also have to approach this differently based on your child’s age and personality. If a child isn't used to self-reflection, it might feel awkward or forced at first - especially if the parent suddenly introduces it with an overly structured approach. But the goal is the same - Make it a daily habit to check in with your child about their day - keep it natural and low-pressure, but do it every day. Aim for a conversation that invites honesty and connection. A great way to model it might be for two parents to converse with each other, asking good leading questions, showing genuine curiosity to listen to the other answer, and vice versa - and then inviting the child to participate in the conversation too. Couple it together with #2 - as you build your daily routine, adjust it to include even just a few minutes of reflection time at first. It will grow naturally in time.

Try simple open-ended questions like:

• What’s something that made you feel proud today?

• Was there a moment when you felt really focused or in the zone?

• Did anything frustrate you today? How did you handle it?

• What’s something you learned today (school-related or not)?

• If you could redo one moment from today, what would it be? Why?

• Did you have a plan for your day, or did you just go with the flow? How did that work out?

• Was there a moment today when you felt unprepared for something? What could you do differently next time?

• Did you procrastinate on anything today? What stopped you from getting started?

• What’s something you want to get better at? What’s one small step you could take toward that?

• Most importantly, parents should go first and be completely honest - not performative or overly positive. If you had a tough day, say so. If you messed something up, share it. When parents model real reflection, kids see that it’s normal and safe to talk about both successes and failures. Show them how to process, think through, and react to failures in a measured and constructive way.

How to Involve Kids: Find a consistent time and place where your child is most comfortable talking - on the drive home, at dinner, after your planner check-in, or before bed. If your kid isn’t into it at first, don’t push. Just keep sharing your own reflections, asking question, and showing genuine interest in finding out more about your child. Kids have a sixth sense for authenticity. Over time, they’ll start opening up on their own.

Benefits: Genuine reflection, like all well-implemented EF skills, has a wide host of potential benefits. But among them certainly is the fact that it helps one to continually refine and improve our aims, strategies, and methods. It helps to improve cognitive shift, our ability to course-correct when something isn’t going our way, and it helps to reposition our locus of control in a way that gives us maximum agency over the outcomes affecting our lives. To be motivated to do anything, of course, one needs to feel that one’s own decisions and actions will be maximally impactful. Over time, this routine becomes a foundation for deeper conversations - not just about school, but about everything.

If you really want to help your child succeed in school, the best place to start isn’t with them - it’s with you.

Executive functioning skills don’t develop in a vacuum. Kids don’t just wake up one day suddenly knowing how to organize their binders, plan ahead, prioritize tasks, or focus for long periods of time. They learn these skills from the people around them - and as their primary educator, you are their most influential model.

The good news? You don’t need to lecture, nag, or micromanage to help them improve. Instead, start by improving your own habits - and invite them to actively participate alongside you. Show them what effective organization, time management, and decision-making look like in real life. Let them see how you plan your week, prioritize tasks, manage distractions, and reflect on your day. The more they witness you using these strategies, the more natural it will feel for them to adopt them too.

Even better news: when you make small, intentional changes in your own life, the benefits won’t just trickle down to your kids - they’ll transform your own productivity, efficiency, and peace of mind as well. These aren’t just "school skills." They’re life skills. So if you’re looking for the best way to help your child in school, don’t just tell them what to do. Show them. Do it with them. Lead by example.

The best way to raise a more organized, focused, and self-sufficient adult is to become one.